Watching Over Angels
When my dad called me during Memorial Day weekend, I had no idea my life was about to change.
Without even getting into the pleasantries of “Hi, how are you?” he dove right into what I felt was a pretty big ask. He explained that a friend of his was dying of cancer, and didn’t have much time left. Her husband had confided to my dad that her final wish on this earth was to write and publish a book. My dad was now calling, pleading with me to visit with Carolyn Kasteler and her husband, Ron, and give them whatever advice I could about the book publication process and to help them get this project going.
“Wow. I’ll see what I can do…”
I left that conversation feeling a pretty heavy weight on my shoulders. I have four little kids at home and one of them is an infant, set on sabotaging any opportunities I get to sleep…
How much time did he say she has left?
How far along is this book?
Does she know I’ve only ever published one children’s book?
What in the world can I possibly to do help?
Was I willing to put my entire life on hold for who knows how long for a complete stranger?!
To say I felt inadequate and overwhelmed doesn’t quite describe it. But I love and respect my dad. I knew he wouldn’t ask this of me if it wasn’t important. I took a deep breath and set up an appointment with the Kastelers.
I met Ron and Carolyn Kasteler the day after Memorial Day (two weeks ago, today). I wasn’t in their house more than five minutes before I felt all my reservations and overwhelm simply melt away. I felt strongly that this was exactly where I needed to be.
As I sat and listened to Carolyn explain her vision for the book, and the story behind it, I knew I wanted to do everything in my power to help her get this book published. To know this woman was to know the love of Jesus Christ on a deeper level. As I listened, I took notes, took a look at the stack of stories she’d gathered, and took a deep breath.
No, she really did not have much time left.
No, the book wasn’t compiled or anywhere close to finished.
But yes, I was willing to put everything on hold to help this incredible woman fulfill her final wish.
I went home inspired, committed, and a little clueless. I called my sister, Holly, to ask advice. She has two Master’s degrees in English and is currently employed as a copy editor. This kind of stuff has always been right up her alley. She and I had actually been toying with the idea of starting a publishing company for a few months. We even had a company name and logo already!
I jokingly said, “too bad we don’t have Merry Robin Publishing up and going yet, because we would probably have our first gig right now! …Plus, I could really use your help on this.”
That conversation lit a fire of sorts and before I knew it, Holly had established our LLC. Welcome to the world, Merry Robin Publishing!
My conversation with the Kastelers had ended in me giving them a step by step list of how to get from where the project currently was, to getting it ready to publish. I hadn’t been sure whether they were wanting advice, or wanting me to take over. After my conversation with Holly, I called them up and offered our combined services to get the whole thing done and printed, if that was something they’d be interested in. They said yes!
Our next step was to get a digital hold of the material that already existed. “Watching Over Angels” was to be a compilation of stories Carolyn had collected from families that have participated in her program, “Angel Watch,” as well as a history of how and why the program was created.
I went over to the Kastelers, and we began putting every Angel Watch story we could find on her computer onto a Google Doc, so that Holly and I could begin collaborating on the organization and editing of the manuscript. I was so touched by Carolyn’s story, and by the program she’d created. The more I worked on the book, the more inspired I felt. I began to feel a special depth of faith that buoyed me through the pressure and the effort this project was requiring.
As we pressed onward, there were many obstacles that popped up, not the least of which was my own lack of sleep and responsibilities at home. But each obstacle seemed to be met with miracle after miracle.
At one point, we became concerned that the company that had taken over the program, and owned the trademark rights, wouldn’t be happy with us publishing a book that used the name “Angel Watch” almost 90 times.
Typically, I’m the kind of person that hates making phone calls. But there was no time for anxiety. I looked up the company’s legal department, and placed a phone call. That phone call led to a video conference the next day, where I pled my case and asked permission. Originally, when I spoke with a paralegal from the company, she told me she’d get me an answer in a few days. I told her we didn’t have a few days. I needed permission now, please! I explained the situation and she moved mountains to set up the video conference.
So many people were praying for me as I went in to that meeting. I could feel the prayers. It was amazing.
They ended up giving me a “soft yes” to go ahead and publish the book, and get a copy to Carolyn as quickly as possible. It was a miracle. I sent them a copy of the manuscript to comb through and get back to me with more official permission when they could.
One worry that plagued me was formatting an entire novel. It had taken me AGES to correctly format my own book and book cover. I knew it was going to take countless hours to get it right, and it kind of made my blood run cold. I was willing, but I was worried about the amount of time it was going to eat up.
A quiet “tap on the shoulder” and whisper in my ear from the Spirit prompted my mind with an idea.
Why don’t you do a Google search and see if there are any pre-formatted templates out there?
Genius! I did a quick search, and the first thing that popped up was a pre-formatted novel template, specially made for KDP and specially suited to the 6x9 size we’d been hoping for. It was a miracle.
Another obstacle came with the miracle. The template was a Word file. I don’t have Word on any of my devices. I complained to Holly (who lives in Germany, by the way). Unbeknownst to me, she reached out to our other sister, Amy, who just happened to have an extra laptop laying around with Word on it! She dropped it off at my house and told me I could keep it as long as I needed. What?! It was a miracle.
As I kept going over and visiting with the Kastelers, it was a miracle I was able to find enough help with my little ones. So many friends and family offered to help. I really couldn’t have done all this work without them.
I knew I was coming into this project as a blank slate. I wished I had more of a grasp of the backstory and the history of the Angel Watch program and Carolyn’s role in it. It would certainly speed things up if I wasn’t completely ignorant of the important details!
The second time I went over to the Kastelers, Carolyn’s friend, Lori, also had come to help. She had exactly the knowledge and inside experience I lacked. She was able to fill in some of the gaps of questions I didn’t know to ask, and brought out small, valuable details Carolyn hadn’t thought to include. She was also willing and able to answer my questions as they arose after that meeting. It was a miracle.
One particular night, I was completely wiped out. There was so much editing and formatting to be done, but I was ready to stay up all night if I had to in order to get this done. For some unexplained reason, I could not find the Word file Holly had emailed me earlier in the day. I had been on FaceTime with her when she’d sent the email, so I knew it was there somewhere.
I searched and searched. I looked up old email accounts in case maybe she’d sent it to the wrong address. I kept coming up empty handed. I could not find it.
Holly was 8 hours ahead of me in another time zone, and unavailable to answer the phone. There was absolutely no work I could do at that juncture. I tried not to panic. I was so stressed out. We HAD to have the manuscript ready to publish the next day if we were ever going to have a prayer of a hope to get this done and printed in time. But there was nothing I could do. I left it in the Lord’s hands and decided to go to bed.
The next morning, I woke up to a finished manuscript.
Holly had gotten my SOS, and had dropped everything and finished the entire manuscript editing while I was asleep. I couldn’t believe it. It was a miracle.
I’d had a certain “mantra” on my mind since about a week before all this started. It was something I’d heard Gordon B Hinckley used to tell himself every morning:
It’ll all work out.
It seemed no matter what obstacles arose, all I had to do was keep moving patiently forward, and everything did work itself out.
I had an opportunity to put that mantra to the test after I hit “publish.”
I was expecting to hit “publish” and have the book in my hands a few days later, just like I did with “When Mommies Get Sick.” As soon as I saw “Watching Over Angels” was live on Amazon, I ordered a copy.
The arrival date said July 5-7. We didn’t have that kind of time!!
I tried to reach out to Amazon to see what could be done, but they couldn’t help me. They were experiencing manufacturing issues and had a 3-5 week delay.
It’ll all work out.
Will it though? We're really down to the wire, here!
I broke the news to Ron and Carolyn. I told them I had a couple more tricks up my sleeve, and I’d see what I could do. We were so close! There had to be a solution.
“We haven’t come this far to only come this far,” I told Carolyn.
I spent the rest of that evening researching local printing and binding shops, and spent most of the night praying and praying that Carolyn would be able to hang in there just one more day. The last time I’d seen her, she looked so weak and so tired. None of us were expecting her to live through the end of the week.
I ended up having the exact same conversation with a dozen different companies the next morning:
“Good morning! I have a book I need printed and bound… Just one copy… I need it by the end of the day.”
“By the end of the day? That’s not possible. That usually takes 3-4 weeks. There’s no way we can do it in a day.”
I tried to explain the situation, but each person just reiterated to me the impossibility of what I was asking.
The thing is, I wasn’t willing to take no for an answer.
I tried and tried. I called and called. Finally I spoke with a local company who, after I explained the situation, said they could pull some strings to print and trim the cover and pages for me, but I’d have to go somewhere else for the binding. My heart leaped. They gave me the name of a company I could call for the binding.
The company they referred me to for the binding hadn’t shown up on any of my searches. I called them and they agreed to squeeze me in after I explained the situation.
I knew it was a huge thing I was asking of them, and I was so touched these two companies were willing to help me out on such short notice. It was yet another evidence of the goodness of humanity. People are so kind.
I ran around and around the Salt Lake Valley, taking kids to and from tennis lessons, going to and from the print shop twice, to and from the binders to drop off the pages, then to and from the temple with my husband, and then back to the binder to pick up the finished book and finally, off to the Kastelers!
I was a bit of a hot mess when I finally knocked on the front door. I was so hot, out of breath, and exausted, but what I felt more than anything else was pure joy and exhilaration. Ron opened the door, and I couldn’t help but beam from ear to ear and squeal, “I have something!”
His eyes got big and his jaw dropped as he let me in the house. He whispered to me that Carolyn had almost died the night before, but she kept refusing to go to the other side without her book.
As I entered her room, sweet Carolyn smiled up at me with a warm, gracious, “hello Jaynie! How are you?”
“I have something for you…”
“What did you…?” her smile melted into a full on jaw drop as she saw what I was pulling out of a large, orange and green envelope.
We all sat together and I watched as she gingerly thumbed through the pages of the book. I congratulated her on officially becoming a published author and she just kept saying, “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it.”
I wish I could paint a picture for you with my words, but words just really can’t describe the feeling in that room.
In her hands at long last!
Now, as I sit here trying to type out this entire experience, I am filled with so much love and gratitude. How many people have had the opportunity to help fulfill someone’s final wish on this earth? Who would have ever thought we could pull an entire 100 page book together in just under two weeks?!
President Russell M Nelson told us to seek and expect miracles. I can’t even count the number of miracles it took to get this done. The ones mentioned here are just a few. I know, without a doubt in my mind, that Holly and I couldn’t possibly have pulled this off alone. People keep saying, “you did it!” But honestly, I feel like all we were was a pair of hands, a pair of feet, and a couple willing hearts. God did the rest. He parted the seas for us to be able to waltz through and do what needed to be done. He guided and lit every single step of the way. I wasn’t ever able to see more than one or two steps ahead of where I was, yet each time I kept my chin up and moved forward, the next step was made clear - all I had to do was take it.
…As I finished writing this post, I got a text from Ron Kasteler, letting me know that Carolyn has passed. There are so many feelings on my heart, but the one that stands out more than anything else is genuine and sincere gratitude. I remember as she finished dictating to me the final chapter of Watching Over Angels, I gasped, “Carolyn, you did it. You’ve done it!! It’s finished!”
“Oh,” she sighed, sinking down in her chair, completely exhausted and relieved. “Oh Jaynie, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone said I couldn’t do it. But we did it.”
What an honor and a privilege to be witness to the coming together of this special book.
To order your copy of “Watching Over Angels,” click the button below.
Please note that a significant percentage of the proceeds will go toward helping pay off medical debts for families in Angel Watch type situations.
When Mommies get sick, and sometimes they do, how do things change for me and for you?
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When Mommies get sick, and sometimes they do, how do things change for me and for you? 〰️
“When Mommies Get Sick”
written and illustrated by Jayne Ann Osborne
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